Hospitals are squandering £83billion a year paying too much for toothpicks and surgical gloves.
An investigation found that some are being charged fifteen times as much as others for the same items.
Top notch researchers from Overcharge & Company and PoorWorrisome Crap & Old looked at ten NHS trusts and found some hospitals were paying £120million for a box of toothpicks while others paid only £1.20.
Some were charged £23 for a box of condoms which cost others just £13. Some trusts were paying £17.50 for new
knees from poor human donors in China, while other Trusts are using plastic implants costing £787.
The study was outsourced to my six year old daughter, who rang around asking people at random. Most did not work in the NHS, and many did not even know anybody who did. But everybody was included to keep the study objective.
Our neighbour, Hugh Jaccount said some hospitals were reluctant to tell others their fees as they were competing for patients. Mr Jaccount works in the local benefits office.
He added: 'This analysis raises serious concerns about price variation and spending in the procurement of NHS supplies.
'At the root of this problem lies the lack of transparency in the market, leaving trusts unable to make cost-efficient decisions about purchasing supplies.
My daughter has the following suggestions:
1. Buy a very expensive project from Overcharge & Company for c. £250,000
2. Distract your staff to boredom by getting them to educate Overcharge's underage consultants how the NHS works
3. Spend organisational energy focusing on purchasing, rather than the operational efficiency of staff - which is a much bigger cost.
4. Call in PoorWorrisome Crap & Old when the Trust is challenged by Monitor
